Grimace O'Reilly is an old stagehand from back in the golden age of 1970's arena rock. But that's not why we've given him the shot at replacing Chazz. No, Grimace, is a newly minted "smart phone" enthusiast who is up with all the cool new apps available today for the entire family to enjoy!
Greetings iFriends! Welcome to my show! I am dick-tasting this into the new ape frump Dragoon Seviches... Sorry.. I was dictating this into the new app from Dragon Services. But not anymore! That dictation device gets an "F"! But don't fret! Below are the three best Apps of the week!
1. Smurf Porn.
It used to take me minutes to find the highest quality animated Smurf porn when I used my laptop. No more! Now with "Smurf Porn" it is a matter of two screen swipes, and I can see a very jiggy Gargamel getting ripe nasty anytime I want, and the best part of "Smurf Porn" is the worldwide community of members keep the riff-raff from clogging up the front page. Be you on the subway, in the office, or at a family reunion, the cream of the animated hardcore Smurf Porn crop will show up with this elegantly designed app, only 7.99 on the App Store.
2. Xspence Track
Why would smart phone enthusiasts like we ever manage our home or business budgets the old way when Xspence Track is here?! Just open up all your bills, credit and bank statements, take digital photos of said statements, convert those photos into pdf, upload them one by one to this app, and then you can look at them! Yup, with just a swipe of the screen you can look through these converted blurry photos of paper statements, and you'll never have to flip real paper again! And the best part is these pdfs can then be sent to your home or work computer, and printed out for your files! Only .99 cents, (for the trial version with updates to come) on the Google App Store.
3. The UPS App
Remember back in the dark ages when we would have to wait for UPS to show up at the door with our Amazon order of the complete third season of Empty Nest starring Richard Mulligan -- were we cave-dwellers? Now you can wait for UPS to show up while sitting in the window like an old woman's cat, furiously refreshing your smart phone for the UPS app to tell you the package passed through Burlington, Vermont! Take that! In related news, the USPS also has an app. You can do what I do, which is, when the Le Fargeville Post Office scans my Amazon order of new katana blades, I call them, and say, "I want my swords, you ding-a-ling!" Both apps free on iTunes! |
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