CHAZZ: Twitter Feed

Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz)
@PepsiMAX Max is high end diet soda. One sip makes me want to bang.
*I tried to explain to COUSIN CHAZZ it's impossible to gain "followers" on Twitter by responding to the advertising campaigns of food-stuff conglomerates like Pepsico, no matter how much you love it, because Pepsico will not retweet you.  
Chazz replied, "Dude, you write a blog."
CHAZZ's Raunchiest tweets BELOW

Diet Pepsi (@dietpepsi) Hey Diet Pepsi fans, we need some refreshing ideas! What snack goes best with a Diet Pepsi? #Refresh #Breaktime Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) @dietpepsi Scotch! ---------------------------------------------------------- Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) Fraggle Rock, streamed to phone, resizes me to Ogre; Ogre, Fraggle; Fraggle, Doozer. I bestride this narrow phone like a Colossus! #Netflix --------------------------------------------------- Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) @PepsiMAX the official beverage of dudes who drink 1 soda for every 6 beers. --------------------------------------------------- Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) Sarcastic Nerds use adverbs to hit their "I'm smart" beats. I doubt they masturbate feverishly. Die, Nerds. ----------------------------------------------------- Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) @olivegarden PITCH."When In Rome" -- Spring menu featuring the delights of Ancient Rome... Like slow roasted cow vulva. Anyway, Folks... Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) 5 followers already. Didn't realize how much porn stars appreciate Olive Garden jokes. ------------------------------------------------------ Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) The Chicken Coop is the best place in Rumford, Maine for chicken. And the second best place in Rumford, Maine for dirty sex. #Maine. #chicken ----------------------------------------------------- Diet Pepsi (@dietpepsi) Burger Bash is back! Hosted by @Rachael_Ray! Get in on the fun—what’s your secret burger ingredient? #sobewff #recipe Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) @dietpepsi @rachael_ray  ground beef! ----------------------------------------------------- Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) Best thing about a rainy day is showering. ----------------------------------------------------- Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) Relaxed fit pants? I have a relaxed fit body! Right, girlfriends! #ladycomedians ----------------------------------------------------- Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) @DCComics Can you just come out and say what we're all thinking: Spiderman is a douche. ----------------------------------------------------- Diet Pepsi (@dietpepsi) That moment of refreshment when you open a can...we call it a Diet Pepsi Moment. #DPmoment! Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) @dietpepsi #DPmoment is the satiation of the ninth Diet Pepsi of the night -- the one that feels like a tongue orgasm. ---------------------------------------------------- Pepsi MAX (@PepsiMAX) when the thirst for MAX hits, what do you grab--cans or bottles? Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) @PepsiMAX I buy cans, take them to my trailer, and rebottle them in glass purchased from antique shops. Glass bottle Max: sweet anachronism! Pepsi MAX (@PepsiMAX) @cousinchazz love the way you think--very crafty! . ----------------------------------------------------- Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) Family have to get real on this, because there's no turning back the clock. Nana be 82 years old, and she's discovered Vodka. #nanalovevodka Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) I ask Nana why she drink Smirnov. She say: Grey Goose is for pussies, now turn on Downton Abbey. #nanalovevodka #DowntonAbbey Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) "I was a maid once." says Nana, "So many butlers with those tight pants, and broad Irish buttocks." #nanalovevodka #DowntonAbbey Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) Nana finds it strange: I boiled potatoes every night, for 9 kids, but I never knew the filthy things were magic. #nanalovevodka Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) Nana's drinking is getting so bad that last week my 15 dollar birthday check bounced. #nanalovevodka #birthdays Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) Nana is working on a novel, it's called Despair of the Working Class #nanalovevodka Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) My nana builds gadgets like Christian Bale for carrying vodka on her person.#nanalovevodka #BatmanBegins Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) My Nana just got her hack license. She's renting the overnight shift on Shabool's cab for "walking around money". #nanalovevodka ----------------------------------------------------- Olive Garden (@olivegarden) If you’re headed to Olive Garden tonight we suggest starting your meal off with succulent Shrimp Scampi Fritta:  Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz)@olivegarden When are you bringing back the SKrimp Scampi like Red Lobster? #olivegardenOGs Olive Garden (@olivegarden) It can be hard to get back into the swing of things to start off a new week. What helps you shake a case of the Mondays? Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) @olivegarden You mean other than cocaine and unlimited breadsticks? #olivegardenOGs ----------------------------------------------------------- Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) @IHOP: free pancakes for #NatlPancakeDay. In related news Calphalon NOT giving away pans.. Cheap Fucks. ----------------------------------------------------------- Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) #FirstThingIDoInTheMorning smoke pine needles out of a corn cob pipe. #hillpeople ----------------------------------------------------------- American Express (@AmericanExpress) Happy Leap Day - How will you and your Amex Card be "spending" the extra day? Cousin Chazz (@cousinchazz) @AmericanExpress I'm chilling; my AMEX card is going to hump my Chase Blueprint card around my wallet until Chase falls in love.