100 Posts: 6 Months

• •    Each month below is linked to the author's favorite post of that month.  A spoiler alert: they're not Chazz, (not all), but stories and scripts, so go ahead and disregard this now, thou non-story-reader.  

       Also a column of pictures, one per month, (other than March, where there were no pictures). 

       And finally some Googly stat lists about this site's viewership.  Inside baseball, kinky! 

ROAD JOURNAL: How Did I End Up on the Road?

IF I: Ran a Bar

(Ahh, dreams.  What would I do if I could run my dream tavern?)

BRIDGE, TUNNEL: CHAPTER FIVE (in part)

(It's coming in trickles now.. two weeks on the road has me brain-dumb.  Fiddled pictures -- not much for the old write-write: two pages.  It's taken a month.  Here is the trick of quitting it)

PICS: The Big Wind Down

PICS: Skaneateles

REPLACING CHAZZ 4: Allan Poe Nelson aka Johnny Westbrook

Don't let this old man fool you; back in the day, before Allan became a respected environmentalist up in Orono, he was the coolest cat in all of Greater Portland; no one had the coolest things before "Johnny Westbrook", go ahead and ask him:

ROAD JOURNAL: Sour Gut @ Love

REPLACING CHAZZ 3: "Buy the Beer" Billy

BBB: What's happening.  Alright, alright.  I'd like to see if there's any groovy chicks reading this blog, the kind that like drinking beer by the romantic light of a good ol'fashioned trash burning at the sand pit.  Anyway call me at 207-177-7777.  Leave your measurements at the beep!  Heheheh.
NY: Billy, you're supposed to be critiquing this blog.
BBB: Chill, Poindexter, I'm getting to it.  Now then: This blog sucks.  It's horrible.  Hold on a sec...
(Billy pulls out a pay to play Walmart cell phone)
BBB: Billy speaking... Yeah?  Where?  The rest area?  Sweet!  (Hangs up phone)  Gotta go, Shakes-queer, the Bonny Eagle girls soccer team are tanning at the Limmy Rapids!!  Hell yeah!
NY: Come on, man.  You shouldn't go over there, you're in your thirties.
BBB: Forever young, my friend.  When the underage need alcohol, Billy will be there!
NY: Could you just give us a list on how to improve this site?
BBB:Yeah, fine:
1. More pictures of bikes.
2. Short fiction about young hot chicks.
3. Reviews of beer.
BBB: Good?
NY: Sure.
BBB: Out.

REPLACING CHAZZ 2: Ace Milton

We've heard from Alexei, here's candidate 2.  Ace Milton is infamous for being the actor who almost has "it".  While you've never seen him in a high profile movie, Ace has auditioned for every big time role in Hollywood.  He's 0-57 on high profile auditions, and like most failures in life, he'd like to blog about it.  Let's do this!

REPLACING CHAZZ: Alexei Vladimirovich

Alexei

With Cousin Chazz out, someone must come in.  Our first candidate to audition a new column is Alexei "Sandman" Vladimirovich, a Trotskeyist and recent émigré from Siberia, who has shacked up with a, how you say, progressive woman from Portland, and, ninety-day visa in hand, Alexei has begun composition of his periodical, Napitki Penisa Vody, on our decline here in the west -- Take it away, Alexei:

CHAZZ: REHAB

It has come down to me to let everyone know that Cousin Chazz has entered rehab.  His column will be suspended indefinitely.  It seems Chazz has been freebasing Diet Pepsi for months.
As part of the deal brokered in his intervention, I agreed to let Chazz have one more list.  He chose as his final list, the problems he has with life.  I found this healthy, a checklist to work on during his stay at the Kezar Falls Clinic of Sobrietal Evolution.
Chazz is 30.  He has no job, no car, no bank account; none of these were on his list of problems in life.  Nonetheless a deal is deal -- here it is:

ROAD JOURNAL: Actors Playing Geniuses