AUDIT: Oneida, Chazz's Rehab, Last August

*Ridley Scott is a fascist turd.  I was in the final cut to play some emperor in Gladiator, but I wouldn't cut my ponytail.  Standards are hard to hold on to in this town.  -- Ace Milton

*It has come down to me to let everyone know that Cousin Chazz has entered rehab.  His column will be suspended indefinitely.  It seems Chazz has been freebasing Diet Pepsi for months.
As part of the deal brokered in his intervention, I agreed to let Chazz have one more list.  He chose as his final list the problems he has with life.  I found this healthy, a checklist to work on during his stay at the Kezar Falls Clinic of Sobrietal Evolution.
Chazz is 30.  He has no job, no car, no bank account; none of these were on his list of problems in life.  Nonetheless a deal is a deal -- here it is:

CHAZZ: REHAB

*Can you come to the conclusion loving people is the easiest thing, and really you could fall in love twenty or more times, but maybe it is the right time two out of those twenty?  And of that ten percent, I mean the ten percent of the reciprocated ten percent, (as there must be many more who just couldn't go there with you), so one percent: one percent of your possible romantic possibilities the time was right, (and ripe), and she needed some part of you right then, and you definitely needed some part of her, (and all her parts preferably), and if, of this one percent, you fail: if you fail as a one-percenter does it hurt less than if you succeed? -- from ROAD JOURNAL: Sour Gut @ Love