A short collection of sayings Cousin Chazz has picked up over the years. Old wives' tales, saws, and Limtuck County folklore.
1. A bottle of Nyquil at noon keeps the demons away.
2. The pen is mightier than the sword when it comes to locking your kids in a pen.
3. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. But scorning two women, each for the other on different nights, produces like furies that rarely turn into a threesome.
4. A poor workman blames his tools, said the kid who was pawning off his uncle's tools.
5. Children should be seen and not heard, and hopefully not seen.
6. Cold hands, shocked loins.
7. Every picture tells a story to a child who can't read.
8. Hindsight is 20-20. Night Vision is 39.95.
9. It's no use locking the stable door after the horse has bolted said the guy in the van with tinted windows parked at the sand pit at midnight while his friend in the ski mask puts the ether back in his pocket and starts calling out to the darkness, "This is all a big misunderstanding, Gertrude."
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