COUSIN CHAZZ IN LOVE: 4. The Money Fell Through Rewrite

(The financing behind the epic Chazz production has dried up. While we are not giving up, where once a big action-packed scene of the bad guys setting siege on the Kezar Rehab until Chazz makes a daring escape was planned, we have this revised version below that takes the economic situation into account)


@ Doctor Margaret's Office
Enter Sam the Narrative Vocalist.  Doc M. looks up from her paperwork.

DOC MARGARET

What was that noise?

SAM

Where to begin.  Twenty trucks showed up full of barbaric and filthy rogues!   They demanded Chazz be handed over!  They had a multitudinous array of thunderous ordinance!   Crack, crack went the rifles!   Despair!  Then we saw him!  Cousin Chazz, what are you doing on the roof, with a bullwhip of infinite length?  The answer he gave us was his action!  Crack went the bullwhip, a different crack than that o'the rifles!  It looped around the old oak tree, and Chazz was off!

DOC MARGARET

That sounds fine.

SAM

Indeed.  Do you know what happened next?

DOC MARGARET

I don't.

SAM

Our neighbor to the south south-east is one Jeremiah D Raconsturm IV.  It just so happens he had his priceless Rolls Royce Silver Ghost on display in the blue ribbon gourd garden.  And Chazz landed in the driver seat!  A furious and marvelous race has begun through the gourds!

DOC MARGARET

What is happening now?

SAM

Let me check!

Sam steps out. Then returns dabbing sweat off his brow with a blue handkerchief.

SAM

The what and where have taken an uncanny and a treacherous turn!  It appears the Kezar Falls Ladies Association set up an impromptu farmers market on the corner of Early Lane and Wheat Avenue!  And Chazz drove through it!  He jumped the Rolls off of a ziggurat of pomegranate jam!   The Kezar ladies are inconsolable!  These roguish Limtucky folk still give corsair-like chase!

DOC MARGARET

I have to see this!

SAM

You better not.

Doc Margaret gets up, and crosses to Sam and the doorway.  Sam blocks her.

SAM

Oh, no. Yes. No.  Hold on, Doctor, no need for you to see this.  They've all cleared out.   The ruckus hath ceased.  At least out here.  It seems Chazz has quite a race on his hands, where will it end, no one knows.  What I do know is there is nothing left to see here, what I have said is what hath happened.  For true. And now it is over, let us retire to the breezeway for rum.

DOC MARGARET

This is a rehab facility.

SAM

Of course.  I forgot.