RAT: Vote Muskrat in 2013!!!

Al Muskrat Jr. has thrown his mullet in the ring as a candidate for mayor in East Dinksborough.  Below are the leaked bullet points from his campaign pamphlet.

* CHILDREN ARE NOT OUR FUTURE.  ROBOTS ARE.

* For every kid you DON'T have, the town will gift you a robot.

* What type of robots?  I'm not sure yet.  Perhaps a robot that scratches your lottos for you after the first wheel of tickets that day, once your wrist has gone numb.

* I wanted to build a robot that pitches movie ideas.  Like that super computer that calculates so powerfully that it defeats chess grand masters, but for calculating what the next step is when hashing out a concept for a motion picture.

* This gives me an idea for Bladerunner 2.  At some point the Tyrell Corporation moves on from prostitutes and miners, and builds replicants that spitball movie scenarios.  Yes... but this movie pitching replicant, he wants to be human.. He goes rogue... kind of like this --

BLADERUNNER 2 

TYRELL: Gentlemen and Ladies, I have called you here today to present the culmination of all our hard work.  Bruce, come in please...

BRUCE: Yes, Mr. Tyrell?

TYRELL: This, my friends, is Bruce.  Isn't he marvelously lifelike?

SPUNSTEN: He is, Tyrell, but what of it?

WERMER: That's right!  We're in the motion picture business, Tyrell.  We need to sell more tickets, with streaming on the internet killing us, how can a robot help our hides?

TYRELL: Bruce?

BRUCE: Mr. Wermer, you have a new romance picture scheduled for April, correct?

WERMER: That's right.

BRUCE: John was a successful architect; despite his success, life was empty after his wife died.  Then he met Ingrid, a sassy barista who's fixing to show John how to live again.  

(Bruce picks up a boombox, and presses play.  'Once In A Lifetime' plays)

BRUCE: Because Ingrid is a robot.

(Silence)..

WERMER: I don't get it.

BRUCE: And you Mr. Spunsten, you have an expensive war picture wrapping, Si?

SPUNSTEN: Are you Spanish?

BRUCE: They spilled the same blood in the same mud, and all they cared about was getting home.

(boombox again.  'Once In A Lifetime' plays.  Same as it ever was.  Same as it ever was.)

BRUCE: Because Sarge was a robot... 

SPUSTEN: This is mental, turn off that music.

BRUCE: You've been quiet, Mr. Wallis.  Don't you have a courtroom drama scheduled for later this year?  He couldn't have killed his wife!

WALLIS: Because he's a robot?

BRUCE: Because the judge is a robot!

(Boombox.)

SPUNSTEN: Why do you keep playing that song?

BRUCE: My calculations tell me that Once In A Lifetime by The Talking Heads has the highest statistical rate of convincing the average human that a movie trailer is meaningful.

SPUNSTEN: Well can it!

BRUCE: Solsbury Hill then -- 

TYRELL: Progress, Gentlemen!

* VOTE MUSKRAT IN 2013!!!!!!