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| "Puppy Yojimbo 2" -- Below a bundle of bits copied from the journal that's traveling around connecticut in my truck. |
it's uncanny --
+ posse of homies from the old neighborhood.
+ treats women like sex objects, but proclaims insane love for his mother.
+ buys vehicles at Cadillac dealership from a roll of hundreds.
+ Not subtle in choices of jewelry.
+ closes down movie theater for all night kung fu marathons wit homies.
+ Always getting caught carrying pistols in the airport.
+ successful album sales from beyond the grave.
BUXTON WIZARD
I met a wizard. I didn't know he was what he was, but I knew he was something else besides homeless, which he was also. I saw him picking dandelions in the alley between the CVS Pharmacy and the Yummy Kitchen. He smelled the flowers, and fell on the ground. I asked if he was okay.
Fresh! He croaked from the ground.
So I made the mistake of walking over to him, and helping him to his feet.
Just so fresh. He says.
Do you need help? I asked.
Fresh.
Right, fresh --
You don't understand. Dandelion greens are the final component!
Sure, Pal..
To make the wax one needs to finish one's staff.
Look, Buddy, wax your staff somewhere else --
And it was here the man grabbed my shirt, and looked me square in the eye, and just like that I knew he was a wizard. It was the square eye that gave it away.
PIXAR SUCKS
Brac Waraxe, (as scripted by PIXAR). Brac Waraxe was a dwarf who lived in a mountain with a bunch of other dwarves. But unlike the other dwarves, Brac Waraxe didn't like war or axes. Brac loved interior design. Every afternoon at the gladiator pit, whilst the other dwarves reveled in bloodsport, Brac dreamed of changing out those sad yellow banners with some new red banners; (red on mithril, come on: no brainer)... PIXAR, I marvel at your beautiful movies, but I'm sick of this "But I don't want to be a viking!", "But I don't want to eat like a rat!" -- How about just one movie where the theme is -- you're just like everyone else, you're not a special ant, we need you to go take a shift at tunnel 8, you dreamy prick. If PIXAR had done Lord of the Rings, it would have gone something like this:
Sam Gamgee: But honest Mr.Gandalf, I don't want to go with Mr. Frodo, I have a poetry slam in Bywater tonight!
PIG PROSE?
The pig out the pen, Dear Liza, dear. A pig is my heart rootin up the yard for one kernel of you. I'd call a friend if I had one. A good friend I'd call and rouse in her curiosity which is a true task when one holds a friend to stories of misprized love. I will ply with drink my friend, and tell her, the problem with drink is it's good. With this friend I will debate the drink with words. The employment of the drink will word the debate. I tell her pig, pen, root, and kernel. She falls asleep. But first she kisses me. I ask the wall: What is it? I feel like a pig, but they always think I'm dancing.
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