CHAZZ: New Year Resolutions

10. Get on a better blog.
9. Divert extra funds toward the construction of the wood shed.  By wood shed I don't mean a wood shed,  I mean The Wood Shed, my black-market sex shop to be located under the Saco River bridge. 
8. Get a juicer. Acquire fruit.  Juice it.  Mix it wit Rum.
7. Retaliate with Karate against the interlopers who have come to Limtucky from New York and plan on turning the beloved Limmy sand pit into a Target in the movie in my head.
6. Find my keys.
5. Come to a conclusion on aliens.
4. Create an operational model of a robot dog like in Fallout.
3. Inquire with Rosetta Stone as to a program for ancient Judaic; at the end of the year impress my friends by screening Passion of the Christ without subtitles.
2. Start my political party.  The Chazz-Whigs.  Win political office.  Insist non-taxpayers are forbid from cutting their fingernails.  Scarlet letter.  Just a bunch of crazy-long fingernail people at the Valero, not able to scratch their lotto tickets.  Suckers.
1. End racism.