Murk Tilders, perhaps the foremost concrete demoist of his generation, died early this morning from alleged complications of an alcoholic overdose. A close friend found him in a ditch beside the Prick and Pony Roadhouse off of Rt 4, in what the unnamed friend is quoted calling, "doin the Ira Hayes".
Best known for his slovenly work cracking old foundation mix loose from rebar at closed down Bonanza Steakhouses, the construction world is in a state of deep sorrow -- famed machine operator, Ike Speckle, (who worked with Tilders building the Biddeford Target), put out a statement last night, "When you lose someone as talented as Murk, it makes you question, well, just about everything. Maybe all those Heinekens are how he dealt with the amazing gifts he was burdened with."
Across the nation today mourning fans are coming to grips with the fact that Murk Tilders will never again mix two-stroke in with his non-methanol gas, and rip one last floor with his concrete saw.
Murk Tilders, American legend -- his pain nearly a teenth as meaningful as an above average actor's.
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