Professional hobbyist and amateur historian Al Muskrat Jr. thinks the 'Merica would have been better had G. Washington become king. Below are his highly negative opinions on some of our greatest presidents.
Everyone says Lincoln is our greatest president. Don't come up here with that weak shit. Lincoln isn't fit to carry George Washington's strap. There. I said it. Jus'keepin it real, yo. Valley Forge, Crackers. All hail the King.
Teddy Roosevelt was a vainglorious adventure junkie. Like a short ugly Bruce Wayne. Unimpressed.
Part lib francophile, part wack Austrian libertarian -- Jefferson is unbearable. Either way stupid ass looks like a tofu eater to me.
Warren Harding looks like if Bela Lugosi had played in a movie where a scientist invented a transporter device, but on the day he successful tested it, and beamed himself from Pod A to Pod B, a halibut snuck into Pod A with him, forever mixing together the dna of both Bela Lugosi and fish.
Nixon was hot.
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