AUDIT: Rocktober! Last!

This is the truth: I had a role in the now classic Bicentennial Man starring Robin Williams -- I met the Chris Columbus at his house for lunch.  Everything was going beautifully until Chris asked me if I had any questions for him on the project.  I said, "One.  Is James Horner doing the score for you?"  Columbus said, "He is."  I said, "No fucking way; I will NEVER be in a picture scored by James Fucking Horner, that trash-bag of jingles."  I stood up, threw the Pinot in his face, and walked out of there.  
                                                    -- Ace Milton

".. three kinds of players in the cutthroat world of competitive nicknaming: the Easterners, those Appalachians of appellation; improvisers of a style likened to the rat-a-tat of a Thompson gun in their titling; men like West Apple Johnson and Saco Sam Miltfill, who ran the circuit for years, coining thousands of nicks still used today, and not one of them capable of writing their own Christian name; then are there the learn'd men; the university wits who, leaving their ivory towers to travel the gravel, originally took up the back alley game of nicking to test themselves in mastery of the true word of this young countryside -- men like Dr. Alex Messersniff, from a long line of linguists, and an acolyte of Theodius Cram, he took his skills to the nick competition; his books, his theories, he tested against the ingenuity of this cousin'd brethren of the hillside, and often beat them at their game.
-- The final grouping is but the one man: Norman Clature. In his own lifetime he was mythology in the ginmills and opi-dens of the nicking underworld, for in his uncanny gift were the souls of men disrobed of self-serving accouterments. What's in a name indeed..." -- ELBERG WITHERSPOON --